Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Environmental Groups Call to Use Grand Canyon as Landfill and saveMilwaukee


In light of new permits in favor of uranium development at the rim of the grand canyon environmental groups have decided to trade the grand canyon for several other areas cited to have high biodiversity and breathtaking views, including Detroit's old tiger stadium, Flint Michigan's factories and Milwaukee.
Noted environmentalist Mr. Knox Browert is cited as saying, "The grand canyon is an ideal location for landfill such as the piles of radioactive waste associated with uranium mining. It's up to 6,000 feet deep in places and 277 miles long." When asked about analysis that went into the decision, he commented, "As environmentalists we have to pick our battles. Protecting the former Tiger stadium and Flint's factories is a no brainer, but we had to think hard about Milwaukee. It came down to the fact that the art museum just reminds us of Sydney's famous opera house and it IS by the waterfront, so we voted to trade in the Grand Canyon. I never really liked the Grand Canyon anyway. Most true environmentalists don't. It's just a line in the sand."
Arizona's tourist office agrees. Recent polls show nature tourists are unhappy with Arizona's politics of late and many have black marked the state after its introduction of anti-immigration bill, SB1070, so Carlotta Purse, director of the office has hatched a plan, "we're chasing after a new market -- sacred landfill tourists -- this brand of tourist will be interested in watching and smelling the accumulation of landfill and hazardous uranium tailings overtime." Several artists have also stepped forward and expressed interest in documenting the sacred landfill in a long running time-lapsed recording. "At the rate we're going," notes Mr. Browert, we could fill it in 20 years and then move on to Yellowstone's geysers. They're so hot and bubbly they may just ingest the trash like a beast."

BTW: this is a satire, (in case you didn't catch that), but we aren't too far off from it, inspired by AD and CS and MK and LFH (you know who you are).

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